she was so not down for the gang bang
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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