I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
