My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
there is puke in my bra ... again
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