so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
