I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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