I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
