marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
