ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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