I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
