Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
