I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
