I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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