After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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