I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
