On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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