Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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