they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
