Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
