Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
