Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
