I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
