of course. lets lasso hookers.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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