STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
