dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
