You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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