Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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