I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
