I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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