Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
