Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
