all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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