i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she smelled like a LAN party
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need to sanitize my soul.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
