the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My dick has a subreddit
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
