I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
