The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
