Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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