maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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