Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
