toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm at about main and main street
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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My vagina is very pro this idea
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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