We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
