Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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