I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize