Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Quick, to the slutcave!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You've changed since you got that strap on
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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