No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
