You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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