OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
