Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
