Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Life is so much better after having sex.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
