if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
