I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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