well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
