I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
