I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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