New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No more Irish car bombs ever.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
