ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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