Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
