I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
