What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
