I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
