Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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