Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila