I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
