Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped