I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.