physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
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Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.