you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
love makes seman taste better
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
