Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize