he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My feet surprised me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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