I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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