i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't think brook has ever known best
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
