took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize