My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
